Sunday, September 20, 2009
Last week I jumped into the middle of a situation when I should have stayed out. Because of that people whom I love and respect were deeply hurt. I got caught up in some drama and I acted like a Drama Queen. I'd like to think I'm old and wise enough to know better, but apparently not. We live, we learn.
I am trying to fix the mess I helped create and to reach out to the people whom I hurt. They may not ever be able to forgive me and I understand. We can expect forgiveness, we can only ask for it.
We live in an age where people make excuses for everything and everyone. Oh they had a bad childhood. Oh they had a bad day. Oh they meant well. Oh I have a disorder. Blah...blah...blah.
I have no one and nothing to blame but myself. There are no excuses for bad behavior. I am sorry. I acted like a jackass.
I am making my way through my life as best as I can and sometimes I get it wrong. It is important to me, as a parent, that I show my daughter how a grown up acts when they get it wrong.
I threw on my big girl panties and I stepped up to the plate and took the blame for my bad actions. Next time, I hope to have the foresight to avoid becoming involved in this kind of situation. Next time, I hope to check my ego at the front door and bring my compassion inside. Next time, I hope to remember to be careful what you believe, be careful what you speak to others, don't speak until you know what the hell you are speaking about, don't get caught up in the drama and be careful what you put in writing.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
That's the point.
That's why we're here.
I am trying every day to be the kind of person my daughter can be proud to call Mom. Last week I failed.
This week I hope to do better.