The Pretender

There are some women who just don’t get it. They are often the women who talk the loudest about how much they support other women. Usually they make a point of telling everyone who will listen how many nice things they’ve done for other women and then running down the list over...and over...and over again. Just in case you didn’t get how supportive and nice and selfless they are. Really though, the only things they’ve done for other women have been marginal efforts that make them look extremely good on paper. They’re in it for number one, sweetie, and if you don’t pony up the favors and the pay backs when they call them in, they’re going to let you know that you owe them and you’d best get on the good foot.

The women I am discussing make it a point to point out their ‘good deeds’ in the hopes that no one notices when they artfully stab other women in the back and stomp on them with the pointy heels of their open toed Jimmy Choos. They think if they smile pretty enough and look cute enough that no one will see through the façade. They’re usually quite skilled at looking just helpless enough that men (and other women) flock to support them, promote them and defend them while they bat their long eyelashes and give you the stink eye.

It’s all about them. Every moment, every action. They’re not only shameless, they’re shameful.

I’ve dealt with this kind of woman for years. Somehow, no matter how easy it is for me to get their number, I sometimes feel like no one else does. If you try to point them out, you’re often looked at suspiciously because much like a killer rabbit, it’s hard to believe something so cute could be so vicious. It’s tricky stuff. They’re quite skilled at twisting reality to support their cause. You’d better be damn good at dodging bullets, because if they’ve drawn a bead on you they’re going to do everything they can to bring you down.

That’s how they’ve managed to get where they are and how they can often get so very far. Only eventually, they’ll step on so many toes, they’ll screw so many other women over and they’ll push so hard that people will start to figure them out. Eventually they’ll whisper the wrong catty comment into the wrong ear at the wrong moment and the house of cards will start to crumble. Women like this are often so reliant on their appearances and the appearance of innocence, it’s only a matter of time before those looks fade or that storyline stops making sense and their complete lack of personality and depth and talent and compassion becomes painfully evident. It’s the karmic adjustment for getting ahead at the expense of other women.

I’ve been dealing with a woman like this recently. I wonder, is she reading this post? I bet she is. She’s been up in my cornflakes for months now. I bet she’s convinced that I must be talking about someone else. Either that or she’s wondering how she can cover her petite ass enough to save her from being discovered.

Well honey bunny, I’ve got your number and I'm not alone. I highly suggest you get out of the way because this train is leaving the station and you aren’t on it. I also suggest that you think long and hard about where your train is heading, because it’s a lonely destination.

xoxo,
Madge