Releasing Attachment

(Painting by Anthony Frederick Augusts Sandys)

I think one of the hardest things to process is the realization that we can not change who we are to please others and the more we put ourselves out there, the more we open ourselves to being judged.

That’s part of the deal.

The thing is you have to reach a point where you no longer care if other people ‘get you’ or ‘like you’ or ‘approve of you.’ Because no matter what you do there will always be people who don’t....get you, like you or approve of you. People will misunderstand your intentions, people will read into your actions, people will attach their own bullshit to you and people will see you as they choose regardless of the reality. We all view the world through our own mythology. 

Often it has absolutely nothing to do with you. Don't take it personally.  I love what my friend Jenny Bruce said recently, "What other people think of me is none of my business."

Brilliant.

Be who you are without apology. Those who don’t get or like or approve of you are probably threatened by you and that is something you simply can not change.

Don’t worry about how other people perceive you because you can not control that. Be kind and compassionate to others no matter how they treat you. The wheels of Karma spin for everyone.

Don’t think you are any more or less important or special than anyone else, because you’re not. We are all equally important and special.

Make art that pleases you and not art solely created to please others, if you aren’t honestly expressing your create spark because you're worried people will laugh at you it’s obvious. Plus you’ll never please everyone, you’ll make yourself miserable trying and that is antithetical to the point of creating.

The point of creating isn't the result, anyway.

Reach out to others and accept that some folks are simply not going to reach back.  Let it go.

Do what pleases you and you will be joyful and that joy will please others.

Shine your little light in the darkness, even on those days when you don’t feel particularly shiny. Even if that little light inspires just one other person whom you never meet, you’ve made a difference.

Don’t be attached to the results. Enjoy the experience.

Let go of all expectation. No one will ever be able to meet all of your unspoken or spoken expectations. Most disappointment in life comes from our impossible expectations not being fulfilled. Let it go. You can’t control other people.

If you want it, get it for yourself. Stop waiting for other people to make you happy, happiness is a choice. Happiness is not a reaction to external stimuli, it is a state of being that exists in spite of what is happening outside. Everything in life is about perspective.

When all else fails, on those days when you feel beaten up and bruised and unloved and misunderstood, know that every single other person on the planet feels like that sometimes. You are not alone. You are a connected to everything and everyone and we are all on a fantastical journey together.

Don’t take it too seriously. Don’t think there is no hope. Every moment is an opportunity for grace and if we give up, we lose that opportunity. Stand strong.

Breathe deeply and remember that we are all but a speck in the cosmic whirlpool and these things that feel so important now are only illusions.

You are loved.

You are love.

You are accepted.

You don’t have to do anything at all but be, the big ‘is’, the Grand Poobah, God, Allah, Buddha, The Goddess, The Great Spirit, The Universe...call it what you will...loves you.  You are loved unconditionally in the deepest and most profound sense by the creative force just because.

And...finally...no matter what happens and how much it hurts, don’t let the bastards get you down.

Love,

Margot