Friday, April 23, 2010

Keep Faith

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I have had one of those weeks that feels like I'm taking an extended ride on a rickety rackety old wooden roller coaster.  It's been up, down, sideways, backwards, upside down...and all at the speed of light and in a most nauseating bumpity fashion.  As you know, we had to shell out 2 grand we don't have for a new well pump and we just found it it's going to be another 500 buckaroonies for a new pressure tank.  Yee haw.  I'll just go fire up that money press in the basement...

I've been trying desperately along with my stalwart and valiant asthma doctor to forge some new pathways so we can finally figure out why Madgie can't breathe, a situation that has been exacerbated exponentially by the preponderance of pollen wafting through the air this spring. I just found out today that my primary care physician's office has done nothing towards getting the ball rolling with the insurance company even though we contacted them over a month ago with the information they needed to do so. So this morning, I called and restated the details calmly and clearly and the nurse screetched at me that it wasn't going to happen anyway and it was too much work to get this approved and I shouldn't get my hopes up and she's super busy and yadda, yadda, yadda.

I had to stop, breathe deeply, try to understand her frustration at dealing with insurance companies on a daily basis and remind her that I have every right to want to be healthy and my family depends on that so we can survive.  'Nuff said.

To add to the funky trail mix of stress, there's a glitch in a professional project that we're trying to navigate with diplomacy and it just might result in the loss of more money and time we can't recover.  So that took a good chunk of my morning to navigate. 

Then there's the giant knot in my neck and the stress that's creeping up the back of my head...

...and just when I was about to crawl into bed and have a good old fashioned cry, I got some very, very good news. Huzzah! This is news that we really, really needed.  I can't say what it is...yet. Lord knows I'm transparent.  I was see through when I was born, have I mentioned that?  My mother got a see through baby with a mass of purple veins like a squirmy human atlas after she gave birth.

My poor mother!

I'm going to pop open the desultory bottle of champagne this evening and celebrate the good news with my family.  We can't win 'em all, but we can win some and we can't win any if we aren't willing to fight. I think that's the point of faith, isn't it? In order to believe in things we can not see, feel or touch, we have to trust that they are always there, especially in the toughest times.  We have to trust that within each of us is everything we need to survive, thrive and flourish.

We are all far stronger than we know.  You too, gentle reader.  Have faith.

Love
Madge

5 comments:

The Crafteelaydee said...

It's so hard to let go of my "worries", so I cry in the shower a really really good cry and keep going. My faith is strong, but that worry is a loud voice sometimes. But I know that faith will bring better days are ahead.
( I am singing) "The sun will come out tomorrow" i just hope I can stay on key, and not loose the melody!

A Creative Dream... said...

It's been a season much like that for me as well. Sometimes, it feels absolutely overwhelming. Nothing to break out the champagne over for me yet, but I do have a bottle in the fridge staying chilled just in case. It is all about keeping the faith, sometimes I just wonder if the gods want to see exactly how far you can push before the human collapses and loses it. I'm slightly willful I'm told, and it serves me well in that instance...I don't want to see the laughing gods make a mess of me, so I shall, I SHALL, keep the faith...with a little help from my friends...

Margot Potter said...

Blue skies are coming, Lynn. Keep singing and who cares if you're off key?! Sing anyway, sista!

Love
Madge

Margot Potter said...

I say crack that bottle open in celebration of what you've survived and how you will turn things around. Because you have and you will.

Cheers,
Madge

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