Wednesday, June 16, 2010

A Dearth of Words

Insert Appropriately Compelling Image Here
(or I got tired of looking and got busy with other things...)


Hmmm...I'm oddly lacking in things to say as of late. Could it be that Madge has run out of words? Wow. Someone, quick, alert the media! This is news!

If there is an allotment of words in one lifetime, I'm quite sure I've used up more than my fair share. In fact I just may have used up someone else's share or several someone elses' shares. I started talking in full sentences before the age of one and I've not really stopped since. That's 46 years of chatter...going on 47 this August. (Gotta get that birthday plug in here somewhere. Just remember people, I like Sauvignon Blanc, shoes and sparkly things.)

E...gads. I think it might be true.

I shall have to ponder this matter with considerable seriousness over the next few days and report my findings. Perhaps, and this is just at theory mind you, it's a temporary condition caused by the alignment of the stars or the solar flares.

Yes, I'm quite sure that's it.

Hopefully once this cosmic event has passed, I'll be back to my old talkative self again. I imagine you're all awaiting this most auspicious event with baited breath.

Even when I'm lacking words, I can still manage to eek out a blog post about it. Amazing. Step right up and listen to the verbal stylings of the wordless wonder...

xoxo
Madge

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Defunked

From Old Time Travel Posters and Luggage Labels by Dover Books

I'm afraid I left everyone here thinking Madge was sitting under a mossy rock in a funk all week. I've been so busy working on projects for the new book I've not had a lot of time for feeling sad, like a spring rainstorm the sad passed and I'm happy once again. I just want to clarify...I do have friends. I have friends whom I adore. They just happen to live far away. I have some local pals, but we're all so busy it's hard to carve out time to just hang out. I feel lonely sometimes, like we all do. It's part of being human to want to connect.

I'd rather have a handful of true friends than a litany of acquaintances. I think we're all lucky if we have one or two people whom we can call true friends. I think it's a symptom of the age in which we live that we can't connect with other people enough. We're all blathering on our Facebook walls and tweeting up a storm and texting endlessly, but somehow that has removed us another degree from one another. It stops us from taking the time to write a letter, pick up the phone or even send an email. The depth and the breadth of our interactions has suffered. I say this often and I shall say it again, we live in a time when we are more connected than we have ever been and yet more disconnected than we have ever been. It's a conundrum to be sure.

I am eternally grateful for you, gentle reader and for my family and friends who I know are all there for me when I need them most and for whom I am there as well. Life is a gift, and I do treasure it.

Love
Madge

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Le Sigh


Gibson Girl Illustrations Dover Books

I am a sunny skies kinda gal. Sure, I like to dance in a nice warm spring rainstorm followed by a rainbow just like the next gal and who doesn't enjoy the excitement of a full blown thunderstorm when you're safe and warm and watching from inside?

Still...long, grey, gloomy, spritzy days make me feel funky...and not in a PFunk kinda way.

Mostly in a funkity funk kinda way.

Today is one of those kinda days. I should have pumped out another book project...and if I can muster even a drop of creative juice I will. I should have driven the 45 minutes to my allergy doc to pick up my medical files. I should have showered, shampooed and shaved. I should have made it out to the food store to get some fixin's for dinner. I should have whipped up a cool gift for my mother's birthday this weekend and popped it into the mail. I should have...I could have...and I would have accomplished a long list of things and yet I mostly didn't do a thing because I mostly didn't feel like it.

Le sigh.

Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes ya don't.

(When I think about people reading my blog translated into other languages I chuckle. What is this nut of which she is speaking and how exactly does it feel?)

I'm free falling people and although I've got a very clear picture of where I fully intend to land, I'm feeling the 'Holy Shit' portion of my flight today. Yes, it's Holy Shit! It's far more potent than your garden variety fertilizer. Get your Holy Shit today! It's new and improved and extra shitty! Order now and you'll get a set of Ginsu knives and a bamboo steamer!

Yay.

That and quite frankly I'm lonely. There, I said it. I have thousands of wonderful virtual friends but no 3-d friend to go have a cuppa with. It's just that sometimes it might be nice to have someone to talk with about the things I can't talk about here in virtual reality. Someone to listen, smile, laugh, give me some sage advice, reach out and hold my hand and let me know it's going to be okay. I miss that. I love my family, don't get me wrong, but everyone needs friends.

Le sigh.

Step right up to the roller coaster that is Madge's reality. Up, down, sideways...and occasionally upside down.

Love,
Madge

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

The Free Fall


Yesterday I began what would be best described as a free fall. It's a long way down and I'm not sure what might happen on the way. I have been standing on the precipice of this cliff for quite some time now, but yesterday I finally leaped into the abyss.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Soon 'whee' might become...'holy shit'...or perhaps it will mellow out into a more restrained and understated "wow."

Whee...holy shit...wow.

Yes, that about covers it.

It's funny how we expect these moments to have some major cosmic resonance, to feel big and important. Ultimately they're just little tiny blips on the cosmic radar. Just like most of the 'important' things into which we place so much of our focus and energy, they are mostly illusions.

I am not afraid. It's just a leap. Life isn't worth living without a few brave leaps into the great unknown.

Sometimes it becomes more difficult to hang on than it is to let go. Sometimes the thing that feels comfortable is actually really not comfortable at all. It's safe, convenient and it's soul sucking.

So we close our eyes, we count to ten and we leap.

WHEE...HOLY SHIT...wow.

"Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly.
All your life, you have always waited for this moment to arise." The Beatles

xoxo
Madge


Friday, June 04, 2010

Serendipity



Kristen Turberville Haffey

The word serendipity was coined by Horace Walpole in a letter he wrote in 1754. Here is the quote as taken from Wikipedia:

"I once read a silly fairy tale, called The Three Princes of Serendip: as their highnesses traveled, they were always making discoveries, by accidents and sagacity, of things which they were not in quest of: for instance, one of them discovered that a mule blind of the right eye had traveled the same road lately, because the grass was eaten only on the left side, where it was worse than on the right—now do you understand serendipity?”

Serendipity is the unexpected discovery of something valuable that occurs when we are seeking something else. Our lives are, all of them, filled with moments like this. Moments where we can, if we open ourselves up to the possibilities, experience unexpected gifts and opportunities. Not only that, we have opportunities to provide this experience to others.

On my way back from Tucson via Phoenix several years ago I was on a very crowded plane and I was exhausted. I knew that upon my arrival in Philly I was facing several days of temporary single mother status with dog, chickens and a child who all needed my 100% attention. It was my full intention to get into my seat, curl up with a tiny airline pillow and paper thin airline blanket and sleep. There was a lovely young woman sitting next to me reading a book. We exchanged pleasantries and I realized rather quickly that she needed to talk. I really did not want to talk, and I was feeling put upon and annoyed at having to start a conversation. Yet, something in me was making it infinitely clear that I was supposed to talk to this young woman.

We struck a conversation that lasted the entire flight from Phoenix to Philly. She was on her way back from missionary work in Phoenix. She had a thyroid condition that needed doctor’s care and had reluctantly agreed to go home to Pennsylvania to see a doctor. As we talked, I shared my stories and she shared hers. She began to tell me about her music and her art. Her eyes were literally sparkling with excitement as she talked about how much she loved the Beatles and playing her guitar. How she’d played with her friends in a band and she really missed wearing her Converse all star sneakers (I had mine on that day by chance.) Her mother had encouraged her to pursue her art and music, but she wasn’t sure it was possible.

Suddenly I realized this girl was at a crossroads and she needed someone to listen to her story and to offer some sage advice. "Yes, yes!" I said, "You can do what you love and make money. It is possible. Yes! You’re so young; you have so much future ahead of you, anything you can dream is possible. Yes!" As we talked and shared stories and our passion for creativity I watched her face light up more and more. I was deeply impressed with this articulate, passionate young woman. The plane pulled into Philly. I gave her my card and asked her to stay in touch.

Not long after I received an email from her mother. She told me she was thrilled to have her daughter home. This thyroid condition was potentially quite dangerous. The tests were being done and in the meantime her daughter was playing music again. She asked if I would stop in from time to time and stay connected with her daughter. Of course I said yes. Not long after I got an email from her daughter. The thyroid condition was potentially cancerous. She might have to undergo chemo, they’d know after surgery that month. It seemed so unfair. She joked that she’d buy some erasable markers to draw on her hair everyday. I told her that’s the attitude she’d need to beat this thing.

This was the last line in her email:
“I'm so glad I got to sit next to you on the plane...you have no idea how much you helped me. Thanks. :)”

That...my friends...is serendipity. Every moment of every day we are presented with opportunities just like this. Casual moments that seem innocuous enough...and yet they are infused with deep significance for someone else. These are gifts. Open them with due reverence. You can be an instrument of compassion and change, just by being willing to listen, to say thank you, to be kind, to be compassionate and to move out of yourself especially when your instinct tells you not to. The real serendipity is in the way these moments shift your reality for the better. You may never know how you’ve touched someone else’s life, you may never get a thank you or an award. It doesn’t matter. The award is the unbridled joy that comes from finding the compassionate heart.

Seek “happy.”

Above is a video of this lovely young woman Kristen singing an original song on YouTube. Isn't she amazing?!

Love
Madge

Thursday, June 03, 2010

I'll Take the Sprinkles, Please

Image from Wikimedia with a Creative Commons Attribution Share Alike 3.0 license by Lotus Head

Well, it's happening. I put on my steel toed boots and I called my guardian angels and we kicked some figurative ass. I will be going to National Jewish hospital. I will finally be getting the help I need to get my life (and my breath) back.

To top it off...we managed to use airline points to get first class seats on the plane both ways...for less than coach. I have never, ever flown first class. Plus I scored a discount hospital rate at a luxury hotel in the nicest part of the city with a shuttle that will take me wherever I need to go. That means I don't have to rent a car and deal with driving in the city. Woo hoo!

Those are the little sprinkles on the top of the dessert. I like manifesting sprinkles...I mean...really...who doesn't like sprinkles? I like ice cream, but sprinkles make it happy!

I don't know what's going to happen or how it's all going to work out. I don't know if my insurance company is going to change their minds and stick us with a huge bill after I get home. I'm not afraid to shine a big giant spotlight on them if they do. They've given us at least 10 different answers so far and we couldn't wait any longer to coordinate the trip. This morning after booking my hotel, I threw my hands above my head and I officially gave it up to the universe.

I am going to take those sprinkles as a sign that this is a big bowl of yummy ice cream and not a steamy pile of something stinky.

Now I must away to make more projects for my next book! Huzzah!

Love
Madge