Of Cabbages and Kings

The above picture makes me laugh. I do things like this to keep from crying. I am crying while I type this, so I guess I had better bust out another perfectly lovely picture to deface.

I know I haven't posted here much. I am sorry about that. This is really where it all started. Now I have fifty seven blogs.

Okay, I have four.

Or five.

Um, let me count them on my fingers...

Five.

Yup, that's it. Five blogs and not one of them pays the mortgage. Seriously?

Someone give me a book deal already, GOOD GRIEF.

As we all know, all fifteen of us, I have had a long and miserable year. Insert tiny violins...here. Extracting myself from this year has proven difficult.

Yay.

I am really, really hopeful (hope full) that this is all going to work out to be so fabulous and fanfuckingtastic that I will look back in a year or two and have a jolly good laugh about it all.

Yes, I shall toss back my strawberry blonde Leonine mane with my manicured finger tips in my bubblegum pink yacht as I drift past our new home on the coast of Bora Bora, wearing a ridiculous straw hat, a bedazzled sarong and drinking some incredibly fruity and delicious rum soaked beverage from a pineapple served by a cabana boy.

I'll meet you there. Be sure to bring wine and some delicious fancy cheeses.

They aren't really into fancy cheeses in the tropics. Alas. We make small sacrifices for our fantasies, but in mine, I teach the natives how to make fancy cheeses and a nice crisp Sauvignon Blanc and all is well.

I should be sleeping, but I'm just not that into it. It's the shortest day of the year, so it makes absolute sense I'd milk it for everything it was worth.

No, mostly it's hormonal shifts and other things you would probably prefer I not blather on and on about. Yet it's tempting to be sure.

It is Christmas, but Santa is not bringing me anything. Santa is low on funds this year. It happens. Please don't tell the children, they'd be terribly sad.

What I'd really like, if Santa is listening, is to sell my humor book, sell my TV show and to get my life back. The one that got lost in this horrible year. Yup, that about covers it.

Also some wine, fancy cheeses and good dark chocolate.

Oh and Botox and a trip to the tropics.

That about covers it.

Really just the first three would be fabulous, the others are just icing on the cake.

Make that a dark ganache icing...if you please.

I'm feeling a Scarlet O'Hara moment coming on...I simply must go whip up a dress from our curtains!

Love
Madge