Friday, January 04, 2013

Seeking grace.

Seeking grace.

If you find it, please send it my way.

I have been putting something off.  But today I have to suck it up and get it done.  It's going to be expensive.  It's frustrating. I'm embarrassed. It's awkward.  It makes me feel just a little bit like a failure... 

...but it's surely not my fault and I have done all I can to navigate it over the past year.

I am not Super Woman and sometimes I simply have to admit that I need help.

I hate asking for help.  I really, really hate it.  I will struggle with something indefinitely before I'll admit I can't do it alone.

Some things we can't do alone.  Some things are beyond our control.  Sometimes the only way to find grace is to admit that we need help.

There is so much shame wrapped around being less than.  I miss breathing.  I can't remember what it feels like to have an entire day without coughing, wheezing or struggling for air.

I am not perfect, I am not super human, I am not a failure. 

I can't fix this by myself.

Love
Margot

6 comments:

JafaBrit's Art said...

Sometimes we give in to the sorrow of our daily struggle and then climb out of it for a wee while. I send love.
Corrine

Margot Potter said...

Yes, this is the one thing I can't fix by myself. It is my little achilles heel.

I'll be fine.

Love
Madge

TesoriTrovati said...

I am sending you peace. Peace in your realization that you need help. And peace in accepting that help. Much love to you, Miss Madge. Enjoy the day. Erin

Margot Potter said...

Thank you, Miss Erin.

xoxo,
Madge

Nancy said...

Oh, breathing is so overrated! Not.

Whatever you're battling, your words are very correct: you are NOT a failure nor Super Woman nor whatever. You are you, a courageous, inspiring, wonderful woman! And, you are ALWAYS deserving of grace - and a recipient of it, every day.
Since I'm a day-later in reading your post, I hope today shines brighter & easier for you!

Judy Streger said...

Look at it this way. By asking for help you're offering someone the opportunity to do a good deed that they otherwise might not have. So by asking for help you're also helping. I'm fairly confident that you are the type of person who would rather give than receive, but sometimes we have to allow ourselves to receive. That's what makes the world go around.